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The Shape of Her Footprints by
Lindsay Cobb
The day I went to Gillian's house to tell her we were
through, the weather was warm and clear, not a cloud
in the wide, blue sky. I rang the doorbell several
times, but when she didn't answer, I let myself in
with my key. She seemed to be out. In this unexpected
solitude, I paused idly, ran my fingers over a cool
silk blouse tossed over the back of an easy chair,
rehearsed my lines.
Finally I stepped onto the back porch and saw her
across the yard, trimming her hedges. A straw hat
shaded her eyes. I stood watching a few minutes; she
seemed not to notice me, but worked the shears with
sharp, deliberate chops, her jaw clenched.
When I called Gillian's name, she looked up from her
work calmly, eyebrows raised. She said she'd been
wondering how long I was going to just stand there. I
walked over and, without much preamble, told her what
I'd come to say, hands in my pockets, trying to sound
resolute but gentle, firm but sympathetic. . . .
She stared at me a few seconds, with no emotion that
I could detect, and then, looking away, she let out a
deep sigh, tossed her shears to one side, and began to
pull off a gardening glove. "Well, I can't say I'm
surprised," she muttered. "I had a feeling you were
gearing up for this."
I started to turn, to go away--what more could I
do?--when an odd movement caught my eye, and I turned
back. Slowly, as Gillian pulled off the other glove
and dropped it to the ground, she began to float
straight up into the air. I stepped back, blinked. At
first I thought the sight was a trick of the noonday
sun, or the breeze fluttering her denim skirt, but
no--her feet were dangling in midair, the grass below
them still matted down in the shape of her footprints,
and now she hovered twelve inches, maybe more, and she
continued talking.
"What really gets me," she spat, her voice gaining in
strength and anguish, "is how utterly heartless you're
being about this. After all the talking, after all the
work we've done together, that you could just drop me
like a stone, or as if you were made of stone."
I called, "Gillian, you don't understand! Can't you
see what's happening?"
"I guess not, I guess I never did," she said. Tears
fell six or seven feet to the lawn like fat summer
raindrops. Finally she called, "So go on, leave! I
don't care if I never see you again."
I shielded my eyes from the sun. "Looks like you'll
get your wish," I shouted.
At this, she swiped off her straw hat and threw it at
me, but the breeze snatched it and dropped it into the
birdbath. Gillian was so high now, I could see the
yellow soles of her feet, tinged with soil and grass
stains. She had begun to cry in earnest, sobbing into
her hands, rising higher. I watched her sail over the
roof of her house, then I ran down the driveway,
watching until she disappeared above a willow across
the street. A young woman coasted past on a bicycle,
with a child in a pink helmet strapped into a seat
behind her. Next door, an old man in suspenders
watered his lawn with a garden hose.
I finally lowered my hand from shielding my eyes, and
realized I was hungry; so I walked up Gillian's front
steps, let myself in a second time, made a
sandwich from some leftover roast beef in her fridge,
and opened a bottle of beer. I sat at the table for a
long time, simply eating and drinking, thumbing
through the pages of a sci-fi paperback she'd left
out. I replayed the scene between us over and over,
but could make no sense out of it.
After a time, I wandered out to the back yard,
retrieved her shears and other tools, pulled her hat
from the birdbath. When I'd carried everything inside,
I wandered from room to room, trying to decide what to
do next. Eventually I sat down in the easy chair,
resting my head against her silk blouse, and turned on
the television. I caught the tail end of a basketball
game, then a golf tournament and some action flick,
and after that I was hungry again. Back in the
kitchen, I found some spaghetti and red wine, and I
cooked myself a good meal. After all that, and some
more t.v., driving home was out of the question, so I
went upstairs to bed. Clean sheets--she must have
changed them that morning.
In the following weeks, I brought over a few changes
of clothes every day, until my entire wardrobe was
there. I also brought over my CDs and videos, shampoo
and electric razor and other stuff, my scotch and my
weights. I gave notice on my apartment, began paying
the mortgage on Gillian's house, and gradually slipped
into a comfortable new routine, buying groceries,
vacuuming, washing dishes. Eventually my new
girlfriend moved in. We threw parties, we lounged
around in the backyard on Sunday afternoons.
One afternoon the following spring, I was lying on
a blanket in the back yard, catching some rays. My
eyes were closed languorously to the sun, a warm
breeze played across my torso. The hedges were higher
now: I never had much of a green thumb, and I'd let
them go wild, the lawn also. Various household chores
had gone by the wayside as well, with the advent of
warmer weather. I didn't mind, I could do what I
liked. I sighed a great sigh from my belly.
As I lay there, a shadow passed over my closed
eyelids, and suddenly, I felt a weight press down on
my chest, as if someone were standing on me. I gasped,
my eyes shot open. Her silhouette was black above me,
blocking the sun, and her hair blew wild in the
breeze.
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